All things within our currently conceivable world has its origins in one thing: Religion and spirituality. Agriculture was first utilized to raise plants and animals used in religious ceremonies, such as sheep and goats who were trapped, forced to breed and then was sacrificed to various spiritual entities. Sheep were, originally unable to produce copious amounts of wool used for fabric until we domesticated them. Chickens were also raised as beings to be sacrificed to dieties, ancestors, and other spiritual entities. During that time, chickens did not lay eggs or produce edible meat until we forced them to breed after domesticating them. Biologically speaking, animals like modern dogs are unable to survive without the help of humans; and, like most domesticated animals, are generally less intelligent and less productive than their wild counterparts.
This is all due to agriculture, a graven mistake that we cannot recover from. Due to agriculture developing we have created concepts of ownership and management; this, the ecological disaster and failure that is government. Due to agriculture creating the illusionary concept of bounderies, racism and sexism spread rapidly. The plow and the phallus are both symbols of female oppression, because female oppression started with agriculture.
The same concepts applies to modern humans and even plants. Due to domestication of common plants we have rendered them to produce very little nutritional substances; i.e., wild wheat is claimed to have 12% more protein than commonly available marketstrains. Combine this statistic with food being processed and you now have food that is mostly empty carbohydrates. Most domestic forms of apples only contain sugar. Our diet is so bad that our bodies are becoming nesting grounds for genetic destruction and chronic disease. Through industrialization, we have created cities on once prosperous land (that ends up becoming desert after they become inhabitable), increased our risk for chronic diseases (Diseases will become worse due to super-bugs, also known as bacterial adaption. A good example of bacterial adaption is nylon-eating bacteria), we have dumbed down our gene pool (Causing genetic disorders like autism and heart deformities - both of which I have), and increased ed our risk for mental health issues. Modern humans, compared to traditional hunter gatherers, are more violent and self-centered. The country in which I currently reside in, North America, is infamous for its narcissism and thoughts of entitlement. We also have the largest military in the world and a president with Tall Man's Disorder. We are also, unsurprisingly, one of the most technologically advanced societies. Industrialization has dumbed down humanity, also.
So what can we do to save ourselves? Simple: Prevent agriculture from spreading, kill off domestic animals. Now, the real problem is why we won't do that: We are humans, with feelings and needs. We love our child, even if they have a genetic heart condition or autism. We love our tiny, squat, dog; sure, it's dumb, but that makes it cute, right? Sure it does. I enjoy my pet hissing cockroach named Lisa's Tears, but she's clearly unhappy and afraid of me. She feels most comfortable hiding under cardboard boxes and eating trash than she does with me putting her in a glass cup, while playing disturbing music by Sleep Party People and drawing anthromorphised characteristics of her. (Yeah, I know it's creepy. Just pretend it's normal.) But that in no way implies that it is something we should do. We shouldn't breed animals to get a desired deformity (hence, pit bulls and every dog besides wolves and coyetes), and we shouldn't farm plants the way we do. Nature has already developed the perfect method of farming; it is called going into the forest and picking berries and wheat. As a matter of fact, more nutritious food can be found in a half acre of forest than two acres of farmland. Near my apartment grows dandelion, used for tea; wild raspberries, used for jam, fruit and wine; pawpaw fruits, amongst others. Ncluding meat: fish, squirrels and even birds. Agriculture and breeding is in all ways against nature, and according to deep ecology, unnatural. In a forest, monoculture is no where to be found; therefore, agriculture is dangerous both to humanity, nature, and animals. Agriculture is the reason why we have technology, large houses and industry. Yet, it had its innocent origins in one thing: Religion.
Thursday, June 22, 2017
Friday, May 19, 2017
Thank You for the Great School-year and Class!
1) I've written a lot this year, but I still believe that I have a lot of room to improve. I've seen some of the writing that I can do, most of it isn't published on this blog, but it is something that I really enjoy. My brother complained to me saying that the writings I enjoy are too dark, but I enjoy that. I like the aesthetics of darkness and I have read philosophy developed around it and why it is important. I know that my new style of writing is very niche and not everyone will approve of it, or even like it. I know that, and I'm okay with that. I don't need people to tell my what is good and what isn't now, I can think for myself and I will tell you this: I enjoy and understand what I like.
Yes, my writings here may be more or less dark or light-hearted in nature, but I personally believe that to deny the darker sides of oneself is to shy away from the truth. You can't have a whole without two opposites, and that's what I want people to comprehend. I want them to confront themselves and their darker sides. We all have that inside them. If you were to ask what my darker side was, I'd just tell you that I have an inner aggression inside me. I'm intelligent, too; intelligence and anger, when working together create something bad. However, ever since I was twelve I've learned to control myself more and I have become more indifferent towards hate and things that go against me. When people call me names now, I just don't react. It just does not matter to me.
Maybe I'm just indifferent towards this, or maybe confronting my more darker sides has really helped me. Over time, I learned to accept it and see the beauty in depression and anger. I don't project my emotions onto myself anymore, I give them a voice in my words and in my art; and I have found happiness in that. The end result is beautiful, I really love it. Ever since I became estranged and lovelorn from a girl that I knew for four years, I've been different as I am really on my own now. I had to learn to confront life without her, and I'm doing really good because of that. I miss her, sure; but we are two different people on two different paths. She taught me self-discipline, and if you've ever seen me confront a person who is harming me or another you'd say that I was just like her when she was confronting other people who did the same. Well, besides the fire. She tried to light me on fire for not knowing her age once; heh, so much for self-discipline. Yeah, she was calm but very passionate in her emotions. Don't worry, though! I don't have any plans on light people on fire!
2) I won first place in LAD writing competition. I think that's a great reward; however, I see it more as a sign that I should actually put my writing talent to real use. So I've been working on a chapbook that will be a compilation of my writing. Wait, not really, no. It's a story presented in a poem that I've been working on. Anyway, back to the original question. I've written a lot, and albeit the piece I thought would win didn't it taught me the importance of my narrative ability that I've acquired from the four years I wrote about my life with the girl I mentioned above. I threw out all the papers over the summer out of shame, and that's something I regret. I still can't really stand reading them, but now I never can see them again. That makes it sadder. I'm not sure though, I have a vision for what I want my writing to be and I'm working toward that, but the writing I've done here seems to me to be what I've always done. It's just my voice.
3) During the construction of this blog, I was actually in a Web Design class. My final project was a book on European witch beliefs and practices. My goal was really to make something that had a good contrasting color, and though I didn't really do that here, I tried my best to accomplish it on there. I posted pictures of it online, on Facebook.
4) I like to do political journaling on why certain laws are just not good. Most of my journaling is just me writing about my dreams and my day.
5) I'm going to copy and paste something from my personal journal into this area.
6) As I mentioned, I want to work on a small chapbook and to publish it. I also have some music projects that I desire to publish online.
7) I'm honestly blown away from a lot of the stuff in Think. Magazine, we have some creative writers here in this class and I think that this is really cool. I hope that everyone uses their talent for themselves in their future endeavors.
Yes, my writings here may be more or less dark or light-hearted in nature, but I personally believe that to deny the darker sides of oneself is to shy away from the truth. You can't have a whole without two opposites, and that's what I want people to comprehend. I want them to confront themselves and their darker sides. We all have that inside them. If you were to ask what my darker side was, I'd just tell you that I have an inner aggression inside me. I'm intelligent, too; intelligence and anger, when working together create something bad. However, ever since I was twelve I've learned to control myself more and I have become more indifferent towards hate and things that go against me. When people call me names now, I just don't react. It just does not matter to me.
Maybe I'm just indifferent towards this, or maybe confronting my more darker sides has really helped me. Over time, I learned to accept it and see the beauty in depression and anger. I don't project my emotions onto myself anymore, I give them a voice in my words and in my art; and I have found happiness in that. The end result is beautiful, I really love it. Ever since I became estranged and lovelorn from a girl that I knew for four years, I've been different as I am really on my own now. I had to learn to confront life without her, and I'm doing really good because of that. I miss her, sure; but we are two different people on two different paths. She taught me self-discipline, and if you've ever seen me confront a person who is harming me or another you'd say that I was just like her when she was confronting other people who did the same. Well, besides the fire. She tried to light me on fire for not knowing her age once; heh, so much for self-discipline. Yeah, she was calm but very passionate in her emotions. Don't worry, though! I don't have any plans on light people on fire!
2) I won first place in LAD writing competition. I think that's a great reward; however, I see it more as a sign that I should actually put my writing talent to real use. So I've been working on a chapbook that will be a compilation of my writing. Wait, not really, no. It's a story presented in a poem that I've been working on. Anyway, back to the original question. I've written a lot, and albeit the piece I thought would win didn't it taught me the importance of my narrative ability that I've acquired from the four years I wrote about my life with the girl I mentioned above. I threw out all the papers over the summer out of shame, and that's something I regret. I still can't really stand reading them, but now I never can see them again. That makes it sadder. I'm not sure though, I have a vision for what I want my writing to be and I'm working toward that, but the writing I've done here seems to me to be what I've always done. It's just my voice.
3) During the construction of this blog, I was actually in a Web Design class. My final project was a book on European witch beliefs and practices. My goal was really to make something that had a good contrasting color, and though I didn't really do that here, I tried my best to accomplish it on there. I posted pictures of it online, on Facebook.
4) I like to do political journaling on why certain laws are just not good. Most of my journaling is just me writing about my dreams and my day.
5) I'm going to copy and paste something from my personal journal into this area.
6) As I mentioned, I want to work on a small chapbook and to publish it. I also have some music projects that I desire to publish online.
7) I'm honestly blown away from a lot of the stuff in Think. Magazine, we have some creative writers here in this class and I think that this is really cool. I hope that everyone uses their talent for themselves in their future endeavors.
Tuesday, May 2, 2017
Dank Memes and the Alternative Right (Essay for Lib & Law)
Recently, a famous meme has been spreading across the span of the internet, the meme of Pepe. The character, who was created by Mike Furie for his comic strip, "Boy's Club," about life in your early twenties, has gotten wide popularity from both teenagers and popular celebrities; albeit, after Hillary Clinton said that Trump supporters were, "a group of dispicables." Trump retailiated with a photoshopped poster from the Expendables movie edited with his face, along with his cabinet and Pepe. Since then, the sad frog, who according to its creator Mike, represents fun, peace and friendship has been used by multiple growing white-supremacist groups spawned under the inspiration of Trump. Pepe's famous slogan has been changed from, "Feels good, man." to, "Kill jews, man."
Anti-discrimination group, ADL has even listed certain forms of rare Pepe as a hate symbol and have an ongoing campaign called, "Save Pepe," meaning they are teaming up with the creator of the meme in order to make Pepe be used as an anti-hate meme, instead. Mike even spoke out against its use, at first thinking it was a phase but then changing his opinion: “It’s completely insane that Pepe has been labeled a symbol of hate, and that racists and anti-Semites are using a once peaceful frog-dude from my comic book as an icon of hate,” Furie said. “It’s a nightmare, and the only thing I can do is see this as an opportunity to speak out against hate." So make them dank memes against hatred, yah big ol' boy.
Anti-discrimination group, ADL has even listed certain forms of rare Pepe as a hate symbol and have an ongoing campaign called, "Save Pepe," meaning they are teaming up with the creator of the meme in order to make Pepe be used as an anti-hate meme, instead. Mike even spoke out against its use, at first thinking it was a phase but then changing his opinion: “It’s completely insane that Pepe has been labeled a symbol of hate, and that racists and anti-Semites are using a once peaceful frog-dude from my comic book as an icon of hate,” Furie said. “It’s a nightmare, and the only thing I can do is see this as an opportunity to speak out against hate." So make them dank memes against hatred, yah big ol' boy.
Thursday, April 27, 2017
About a Boy: An Exploration on Control
These days I dread, rest my head.
I roost the fire like a hawk in white down,
as I'm coming down, I'm coming down.
The world in fruition, a death of the nation,
the burnt military rations of the dying faction.
Another day spent in my mind, the weeks
they burn, no other can find what has been lost inside my mind.
Yeah, I don't know what that lame poem was for, really. But now on to the actual writing! "It happens, and I wish it didn't, but that's life, isn't it?"
Many things in this world are out of our control. As a matter of thought, I wonder if anything is truly within our grasp. Maybe we can shape something to be different, but at its core, it is the same. It is as it always is. Atomically, it is the same; molecularly, it is the same; there may be a discoloration here and there but at the base of it all, everything is out of our control. You see, things in this world follow a certain state of laws, much like a law of matter. It follows these laws because if they did not then the very structure of this world would just be an unorganized mess. Imagine the grass growing in thick, pulsing rock-like clumps; or the wood in trees forming a large wall, with the roots growing upwards to form branches. If the world were like this then this world would be unstable and therefore unpredictable.
This also applies to certain people. Some people are submissive, bending at every command; but inside them, they have a voice of their own, they are just afraid to say it. Some people are controlling, or attempt to be so, but these people can only control the weak and thus, cannot control a person who knows his or her place. So, I guess you could assume that with this knowledge, try as we may, we shall never understand or comprehend the world around us as it will always remain quite a mystery; which, for us, makes the world unpredictable. We desire to be in control, as that is what our minds were designed to do: To change things in such a way that allows us to use it to our advantage. So then, we are never really in control; we are not in control at all.
You just have to learn to accept what you cannot control. You can fight back but this does not mean that you will succeed; however, this may be proven incorrect. But I say to you this: We shall never truly understand what we cannot control, and all we can assume is that there are sets of natural laws that the world has to abide by, or else (even if we do not understand it) it could fall.
Tuesday, April 25, 2017
Food for Thought
I'm not a huge fan of food, as my physical senses that revolve around my nerves are actually quite destroyed and as such I don't really care for what I eat; however, there are some foods I enjoy. But I like to prepare food more than to taste it for myself. I like what I call, "Bioregional food," This is food native to your bioregion, such as the Ozarks. I don't really know what to write about, but I love fermented food and here is some food native to our region:
1) Pickled Black Walnuts
2) Wild Potato Vine (Ipomoea Pandurata): The root tubers, when baked can be used as a vegetarian substitute to pulled pork in recipes. You can also use it to make mashed potatoes, but I don't think that the texture fairs well with it.
3) Autumn Olive (Elaeagnus umbellata): Not an olive! It makes a fine wine if you know how to ferment it! It taste sweet; however, it is invasive. So use ALL the berries!
4) Spicebush (Lindera benzoin): Can be used for tea. Crushed the dried leaves and berries and put into a tea ball. Brew the tea, mix with honey or turn it into an oxymel.
There are many more foods, but I have yet to actually grow any. I refuse to grow any invasive species and choose to harvest them wild instead. Even though I know how to prepare food in a traditional manner, e.i., a manner that does not utilize any formal modern equipment such as a refrigerator, since I want to live without or with barely any technology in the future. So the food I would prepare will be good, but it will take time to develop a taste for it because modern food is filled with bland flavors and the like. The flavors present in fermented food is more diverse; meaning, there are so many different flavors that come up in one bite. Every batch that you ferment will taste similar to the last, but will have minor or major differences depending upon the room's ambient temperature, amount of salt, amount of water and other things like the present bacteria. This bacteria is actually good for you, it's called probiotics. I like to cook with cast-iron skillets because steel is too modern (I'm kind of a anti-modernist), and copper can be poisonous (Even if copper skillets look good). Plus, I've heard that some of the iron in the skillet gets into the food and I think that we can all use some of that in our blood! Yeah, I love preparing food. I guess I just don't enjoy food that is prepackaged as the preservatives and processing really takes out the stuff that gives it flavor: the raw ingredients.
Plus, I would love to live in a world based upon the past; so that influences what I want to cook. Imagine eating a historical meal, but based upon old dietary laws of older religions. I think that would be cool.
1) Pickled Black Walnuts
2) Wild Potato Vine (Ipomoea Pandurata): The root tubers, when baked can be used as a vegetarian substitute to pulled pork in recipes. You can also use it to make mashed potatoes, but I don't think that the texture fairs well with it.
3) Autumn Olive (Elaeagnus umbellata): Not an olive! It makes a fine wine if you know how to ferment it! It taste sweet; however, it is invasive. So use ALL the berries!
4) Spicebush (Lindera benzoin): Can be used for tea. Crushed the dried leaves and berries and put into a tea ball. Brew the tea, mix with honey or turn it into an oxymel.
There are many more foods, but I have yet to actually grow any. I refuse to grow any invasive species and choose to harvest them wild instead. Even though I know how to prepare food in a traditional manner, e.i., a manner that does not utilize any formal modern equipment such as a refrigerator, since I want to live without or with barely any technology in the future. So the food I would prepare will be good, but it will take time to develop a taste for it because modern food is filled with bland flavors and the like. The flavors present in fermented food is more diverse; meaning, there are so many different flavors that come up in one bite. Every batch that you ferment will taste similar to the last, but will have minor or major differences depending upon the room's ambient temperature, amount of salt, amount of water and other things like the present bacteria. This bacteria is actually good for you, it's called probiotics. I like to cook with cast-iron skillets because steel is too modern (I'm kind of a anti-modernist), and copper can be poisonous (Even if copper skillets look good). Plus, I've heard that some of the iron in the skillet gets into the food and I think that we can all use some of that in our blood! Yeah, I love preparing food. I guess I just don't enjoy food that is prepackaged as the preservatives and processing really takes out the stuff that gives it flavor: the raw ingredients.
Plus, I would love to live in a world based upon the past; so that influences what I want to cook. Imagine eating a historical meal, but based upon old dietary laws of older religions. I think that would be cool.
1. I am a self-trained vocalist. NO, you do not use your vocal chords to sing. If you do will damage your voice over time. You use subharmonic techniques, and the body parts you use to sing are your diaphragm, soft palette, fry register amongst other complex muscles in your throat and chest. Singing without knowledge on how to do so can be damaging, please consult someone who knows how to sing before learning.
2. I play the guitar good sometimes okay; I've only been playing for a year so I'm kind of bad.
3. My sense of humor changes often, but now I make jokes about my injuries, myself, drugs and the company BD.
4. You probably don't need to or want to know what BD is.
5. I like speedcore, black metal, metalcore, indie folk, indie, crust folk, folk music, folk metal, hardcore rock, post-black metal; basically, any music that is historical like folk, and any extreme electronic or metal genre I enjoy. I also like ambient, preferably dark ambient.
6. I have bicuspid aortic valve disorder.
7. One of my favorite songs is about a device used to keep people with detrimental heart conditions in pace, called, "PACEMAKER REV. 2.0" by the Quick Brown Fox.
8. I like snakes.
9. I'm eighteen.
10. I was diagnosed with ADHD, depression, anxiety as a child; however, I exhibit no symptoms of them now.
11. I have a high pain tolerance and enjoy certain stressful situations. One of my childhood dreams was to teleport in a world like Silent Hill, or other psychological horror series.
12. As a child, I suffered severe Aspergers, a form of autism that I have since outgrown. Very rarely any of it still remains.
13. I study theology, meaning religion. I prefer to study private religions, fringe religions, and spirituality, along with certain ancient religious practices.
14. I love meditating to dark ambient music.
15. I desire to own land and build a homestead in the future.
16. Through meditation, I have the ability to induce a deep state of consciousness in which I lose partial contact with my bodily functions; however, thanks to my medulla my brain and heart still work. If I were to go any deeper into meditation I would become dissociated with reality - something I wish to achieve - and it would generate a heavy amount of hallucinations. This is a goal of mine.
17. I have centered my future career around nature, as I believe that nature is inherently, scientifically, spiritually and literally above humanity in all ways.
18. There are few people that I care enough about to defend them with my life; these people are rare and you will never see them.
19. I have an honor code, I take it very seriously. I tells me how to act, what to do and not to do, and enforces aspects of my life. Since I have still a small remaining bit of ADHD in me, it allows me to keep my behavior stable.
20. My ideal form of government is primitivist entarchy; however, this would send us back to the stone ages so I let it pass.
21. I recently got into a skateboarding accident, which explains the bruises and scratches on my face.
22. I cannot tell people who I am.
23. I have an affection towards low-technology solutions in a high-tech world.
24. I'm a traditionalist; I'd rather read a physical book than a pdf.
25. I study mind-altering alkaloids and how they affect the human mind.
26. I do not feel comfortable when people know stuff about me, so is it okay if I delete this once it gets graded?
27. I have a soft spot for Out of Placers and archaic literature.
28. Because of my current injuries, I am in much pain!
29. In the future, I will reduce my technological use to the bare minimum.
30. I'm a minimalist. Minimalism is a lifestyle.
31. One of my favorite dark ambient artist right now is Flowers for Bodysnatchers. You can really feel the emotional aspects of the stories he tells with the sound he designs; it's really dark and depressing.
32. I'm a skateboarder. It's a dangerous sport and I don't recommend it at all. Please don't do it, as it hurts bad once you get in an accident. I got in one on Sunday, ripped my jeans and I have scars and wounds all over my body. I had to take off all my clothes and it took near an hour getting everything, "Fixed," up. My face, which took the most damage, was spurting bright red coagulated blood all over my bared, torn feet. I have a high pain tolerance than most people but I still do not recommend it. I have an adnormal ability to remain calm in a situation involving blood, gore, and injuries; even if the blood, gore and wounds are on myself. I guess that's what years of listening to terrible dark music and playing horror games does to yah; I'd be a good forensic crime-scene photographer as I wouldn't vomit on the dead corpses! Cool! Maybe that can be a last resort job for me! (Hopefully, I can use some pictures in my grotesque art projects.)
33. I'm weird and I'm into weird things; people my age don't like me for this, but older people do.
34. I'm polite, mostly toward older people as I have learned to respect our elders; only if they are open-minded, of course.
35. I'm usually a soft-spoken person, that takes many things seriously unless I have an overwhelming sense of happiness.
36. People say I'm intelligent; I can see why.
37. During the year of 2015, I exhibited psychotic-like symptoms, despite not having clinical psychosis.
38. For three years of my life I was subject to prescription drugs, I no longer take any and made a formal oath of only taking of few forms of therapy in the case of mental illness or other things. If a doctor forces to me undergo a form of treatment without my formal consent, I will retaliate. It won't be pretty.
39. I used to listen to grindcore music.
40. I only fear sleep paralysis, but I hope to have these problems in the future as I have had them in the past. They are terrifying, but I like it.
41. If I am in a severe state of depression, my mind will exhibit sleep paralysis symptoms but in waking reality; meaning, I may have short hallucinations of black silhouettes. I named the first one I saw my Shadow-self. No, I do not have any severe mental disorders. It is just the human brain is capable of more than we know. Meditation (see number 16), can heighten more primitive areas of the human mind. It is not as common as I make it out to sound. This is not a symptom of number 37.
42. No matter what happens to me, I'm always OK!
43. This is a lot of things about me.
44. I'm a very secretive person and do not want to tell everyone everything about me.
45. I prefer extreme sports over organized sports, like skate-boarding.
46.
2. I play the guitar good sometimes okay; I've only been playing for a year so I'm kind of bad.
3. My sense of humor changes often, but now I make jokes about my injuries, myself, drugs and the company BD.
4. You probably don't need to or want to know what BD is.
5. I like speedcore, black metal, metalcore, indie folk, indie, crust folk, folk music, folk metal, hardcore rock, post-black metal; basically, any music that is historical like folk, and any extreme electronic or metal genre I enjoy. I also like ambient, preferably dark ambient.
6. I have bicuspid aortic valve disorder.
7. One of my favorite songs is about a device used to keep people with detrimental heart conditions in pace, called, "PACEMAKER REV. 2.0" by the Quick Brown Fox.
8. I like snakes.
9. I'm eighteen.
10. I was diagnosed with ADHD, depression, anxiety as a child; however, I exhibit no symptoms of them now.
11. I have a high pain tolerance and enjoy certain stressful situations. One of my childhood dreams was to teleport in a world like Silent Hill, or other psychological horror series.
12. As a child, I suffered severe Aspergers, a form of autism that I have since outgrown. Very rarely any of it still remains.
13. I study theology, meaning religion. I prefer to study private religions, fringe religions, and spirituality, along with certain ancient religious practices.
14. I love meditating to dark ambient music.
15. I desire to own land and build a homestead in the future.
16. Through meditation, I have the ability to induce a deep state of consciousness in which I lose partial contact with my bodily functions; however, thanks to my medulla my brain and heart still work. If I were to go any deeper into meditation I would become dissociated with reality - something I wish to achieve - and it would generate a heavy amount of hallucinations. This is a goal of mine.
17. I have centered my future career around nature, as I believe that nature is inherently, scientifically, spiritually and literally above humanity in all ways.
18. There are few people that I care enough about to defend them with my life; these people are rare and you will never see them.
19. I have an honor code, I take it very seriously. I tells me how to act, what to do and not to do, and enforces aspects of my life. Since I have still a small remaining bit of ADHD in me, it allows me to keep my behavior stable.
20. My ideal form of government is primitivist entarchy; however, this would send us back to the stone ages so I let it pass.
21. I recently got into a skateboarding accident, which explains the bruises and scratches on my face.
22. I cannot tell people who I am.
23. I have an affection towards low-technology solutions in a high-tech world.
24. I'm a traditionalist; I'd rather read a physical book than a pdf.
25. I study mind-altering alkaloids and how they affect the human mind.
26. I do not feel comfortable when people know stuff about me, so is it okay if I delete this once it gets graded?
27. I have a soft spot for Out of Placers and archaic literature.
28. Because of my current injuries, I am in much pain!
29. In the future, I will reduce my technological use to the bare minimum.
30. I'm a minimalist. Minimalism is a lifestyle.
31. One of my favorite dark ambient artist right now is Flowers for Bodysnatchers. You can really feel the emotional aspects of the stories he tells with the sound he designs; it's really dark and depressing.
32. I'm a skateboarder. It's a dangerous sport and I don't recommend it at all. Please don't do it, as it hurts bad once you get in an accident. I got in one on Sunday, ripped my jeans and I have scars and wounds all over my body. I had to take off all my clothes and it took near an hour getting everything, "Fixed," up. My face, which took the most damage, was spurting bright red coagulated blood all over my bared, torn feet. I have a high pain tolerance than most people but I still do not recommend it. I have an adnormal ability to remain calm in a situation involving blood, gore, and injuries; even if the blood, gore and wounds are on myself. I guess that's what years of listening to terrible dark music and playing horror games does to yah; I'd be a good forensic crime-scene photographer as I wouldn't vomit on the dead corpses! Cool! Maybe that can be a last resort job for me! (Hopefully, I can use some pictures in my grotesque art projects.)
33. I'm weird and I'm into weird things; people my age don't like me for this, but older people do.
34. I'm polite, mostly toward older people as I have learned to respect our elders; only if they are open-minded, of course.
35. I'm usually a soft-spoken person, that takes many things seriously unless I have an overwhelming sense of happiness.
36. People say I'm intelligent; I can see why.
37. During the year of 2015, I exhibited psychotic-like symptoms, despite not having clinical psychosis.
38. For three years of my life I was subject to prescription drugs, I no longer take any and made a formal oath of only taking of few forms of therapy in the case of mental illness or other things. If a doctor forces to me undergo a form of treatment without my formal consent, I will retaliate. It won't be pretty.
39. I used to listen to grindcore music.
40. I only fear sleep paralysis, but I hope to have these problems in the future as I have had them in the past. They are terrifying, but I like it.
41. If I am in a severe state of depression, my mind will exhibit sleep paralysis symptoms but in waking reality; meaning, I may have short hallucinations of black silhouettes. I named the first one I saw my Shadow-self. No, I do not have any severe mental disorders. It is just the human brain is capable of more than we know. Meditation (see number 16), can heighten more primitive areas of the human mind. It is not as common as I make it out to sound. This is not a symptom of number 37.
42. No matter what happens to me, I'm always OK!
43. This is a lot of things about me.
44. I'm a very secretive person and do not want to tell everyone everything about me.
45. I prefer extreme sports over organized sports, like skate-boarding.
46.
Friday, April 21, 2017
Music and Writing:
1. When you listen to music, what feelings/emotions does it evoke?
I listen to various forms of music: Hard rave genres such as happy hardcore music, speedcore and the like. However, I am not quite fond of the electronic music industry, and I only listen to this when I'm so happy that I desire to run around the room and dance like an idiot on some kind of drugs. I barely do this, as I usually prefer to listen to spiritually atavistic music, like Cascadian metal. The purpose of it is to create an altered state of experience through the use of death metal, and since my spiritual beliefs are rather ancient and historic it only makes sense to, 'access,' the energies and current of this form of music in order to help me perceived what is known as the spiritual other: the sense of inhumanity and ancient alienness that is the deeper parts of our psyche. This part of our mind is used to facilitate a spiritual experience. Bands like Echtra, Fuana, Ekstasis along with Botanist. The band Botanist advocates for Entarchy, which is a system of government in which the forest and its attendent laws and natural rules are taken as the law of the land quite literally if you will. The forest is also worshipped as the ultimate god, and sacrifices of blood and other fluid is necessary. The ideology openly supports the dissolution of the human race and its attendents so as to allow the forest to dominant us and our lives until our demise. Obviously, this ideology will not catch on since it is rather niche in nature but since it sounds like something that I supported a year ago* so I decided to support the artist. Not only do I enjoy the music itself, I also like the message and what the artist stand for. I also perceive it as a very spiritual thing, despite the fact that it may sound extreme to some people. In conclusion my spiritual views, ideologies and associated subcultures (Like folk crust punk, hence me enjoying We The Heathens. Or like furry art and subculture, hence me enjoying Halley Labs) influence my taste in music very greatly. However, I do enjoy midwest emo, pop punk, dream-pop and et alia; this music reminds me of my youthfulness, and since I have a very serious outlook on life and philosopher, it reminds me to have fun with my time here on this thing called Earth; I also enjoy dark ambient, for spiritual reasons. Even though it really isn't music. It's more like a bunch of drones and dark chamber field-recordings.
2. What is your favorite song? Why? Is it connected to a certain time, event, or place?
List of my favorite songs, with genre and precedding explanation, not in any order:
a) PACEMAKER REV_2.1, album; NERVE'S ENDING by the Quick Brown Fox. Reason for enjoyment: It just sounds fun! Genre: Speedcore
b) Fallohides, album; The Blood Behind the Dam, by We The Heathens. Reason for enjoyment: I love folk music, and since I also enjoy modern forms of punk and metal the combination of the two (Along with the relaxing nature field-recordings present in the album) makes for a very earth-centered and modern experience.
Above: We The Heathens album art for, "The Blood Behind the Dam", all copyright goes to them. Taken from wetheheathens.bandcamp.com
d) One Thing, album; Blast Radius by Coyete Pepper. Reason for enjoyment: I like the associated company for obvious reasons,and since I desire to own a business in the future they are like a symbol that shows that even the most insanely odd ideas can grow into a successful business is inspiring to me. I also enjoy the music for its sound and what it means, and use the song for as a part of my vocal warm-up practices.
e) 电动少女, album; Here comes a new challenger! by Chinese Football, Reason for enjoyment: I like the youthfulness of the song, plus I enjoy midwest emo math rock.
3. How has your taste in music changed over the years?
The first ever song I heard and really enjoyed was by Queen. Growing up, since I was an aggressive and energetic boy I listened to a lot of Nu Metal bands, like Linkin Park (I listened to them for three years, then I discovered Green Day, Gorillaz). Soon I started listen to a radio through my television while doing homework and discovered Bring Me The Horizon, Deftones and other heavy bands. After listening to Metalcore and Dubstep music I started expanding my musical horizons even wider and discovered Dark Ambient while I accidently discovered minimalism and how it applies to music and as a life-style. Then I started to take my spirituality more seriously and started exploring older forms of music and other forms of metal. Everything weaves together into one strong path!
4. Why do you gravitate towards certain types of music? Why do you think you dislike certain types of music? (Influences, history, parents)
I love energetic music because I'm rather an energetic person. In public I'm more reserved and quite, mostly because I'm a thinking introvert and I'm shy. But being mute for long periods of time is very meditative to me, and meditation feels good. It's a spiritual thing I do: Meditate. It just feels so good. So sometimes my music may sound very nature-like and calm, other times it will be happy and fast, or dark and brooding. But I grew up with heavier music and rock and as a consequence I have a tendency to lean more towards that genre. Growing up, I hated anything to do with the country, especially what I called at the time, 'Hillbilly music.' Fortunately, I am not ignorant as I was back then, but I still do not really enjoy modern country music. I prefer the blues or bluegrass music, rather than songs about big green tractors or how whisky is or something cliche like that (I'm sorry if I offended any country musicians out there).
5. Do your friends listen to the same styles of music as you? What do you think this means?
No. My music, like most things I enjoy, are niche. Meaning they are orientated to a specific group of people that enjoy a specific thing; but I like to keep my music this way. It makes me feel good to be the only person I know who likes this music in my general vicinity. However, with genres like Indie folk or midwest emo, I just want to perform these songs with a group of musicians. Or listen to it while star-gazing with a close friend. Star-gazing is very meditative and you can learn a lot of history by studying the stars. I like to read about it, then when someone is star-gazing with me I tell them the history, mythology and science associated with it and people rather enjoy that.
6. "Without music, life would be a mistake," -Fredrick Nietzsche. Music can put you in different worlds, different states of mind, it can give you a new perspective on your emotions and have encouraged millions to keep on going in rough times and to enjoy the present moment. Sometimes, if I'm feeling down, I can sit outside as the sun sets listening to a song. I don't really like to listen to some songs, I like to experience them. Which is why I enjoy the music I like; it has an ambient tonality to it that makes it feel like it is alive, like it is living and telling you all that you already know how to feel. It allows you to put even the worse situations into a perspective that helps you understand and cope with them more.
15. Would you ever want to sing or be a musician professionally?
Yes, my side career will actually be writing, composing, producing and mastering my own musical albums. I'm also a trained vocalist. I'm trying to learn how to do extreme unclean vocal techniques; they are SO hard. These vocals are basically the safe way to, "Scream," in music without fully injuring yourself. However, if not done right to the highest degree it will slowly destroy your voice. Fun fact! My falsetto was permanently destroyed when I swallowed a mint whole while taking a test in eighth grade! It got lodged up in my larynx and it was there until it melted. It hurt, a lot.
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